~~mY liFe~~

i cant believe it...

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 06:58:56 GMT

Yesterday was a horrible day.

I got a call at work from my mom telling me that a really close friend of ours died that morning. I was in total shock when I found out. He was only in his fifties, and his wife found him dead in the shower. The thing is, he went to the doctors on Monday and they told him he was extremely healthy, and had the heart of a 32 year old...so they think he may have slipped and fell, or had a brain anuerism(?). And on top of that, when his wife found him she like had a nervous breakdown and went into shock...so she had to be rushed in to the hospital. But, I just cant believe it. I feel so bad for my mom though, he was like a father to her. Him and his wife are the ones who helped her out when she came back down here with nothing but the clothes on her back, and just...ugh it makes me sad just typing about it. I went to my moms house last night to be with her, and ive never seen anyone cry so much, and just be so upset...it made me hurt inside. I tried so hard to say anything I could to make her feel better...but I knew nothing would help...she lost someone who was so close, and meant so much to her, and nothing I could ever say would bring him back to her.

This just made me open my eyes to how short life really is..and how something to horrible can happen all of the sudden. I mean its not like he was sick and we all knew this was going to happen...he just died out of nowhere!

Im looking at life a lot differently now..its sad that something like this had to happen to make me open my eyes, but life works in funny ways.

So, I dont know when the funeral is, but this will be my first time ever going to one, and im not looking forward to it. I just keep thinking about how hes really gone. No one close to me has ever dies like this. And I just wish I would have been able to see him one last time before he died. He was honestly the sweetest and most caring guy you would ever meet in your life.

Well...goodnight,

R.I.P Curt Settle <3

Well...

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 16:44:09 GMT

My parents informed me that they are moving to Massachussettes in like 6 months to a year...

Decisions time...

yay

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 17:33:44 GMT

Its my birthday....

WOOT!

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 15:56:58 GMT

Gosh, im so tired!! Waking up at 7:30 every morning is really hitting me. But at the same time, I feel so accomplished because I get stuff done before its time for work/school. So I guess its ok...

Todays Alans bday. Im making him cupcakes that say "Happy Birthday Alan." So im a baker today! Woot! But seeing as im not really good at cooking, who knows how they are gonna turn out.

BBQ tonight, should be fun. I love my aunt thats down, shes so crazy!! We usually have so much fun. Im hoping that I go up there this summer and stay with her, that would be awesome. Well see...

Anywayz...I gotta go see how the cupcakes are doing...bye!

-taryn

take a look at me now

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 13:36:36 GMT

Well...im actually going to attempt to write a real entry...imagine that!

Hmm...lets see. I honestly dont even know what to say. I was reading a few of my last entries, and things are so different now! My life doesnt suck anymore! =)

I guess I can just start where I left off...and give a short version of whats gone on. Here goes...

First off, the reason I stopped updating altogether was the fact that we had to move out of our house. One of the pipes burst underneath our house, and they had to move everything out and put it into storage. The retarded plumbers totally fucked our house up, leaving holes everywhere...blah blah. And not to mention the big pile of sand that was in our driveway for almost a year. So my family stayed at a hotel, and I moved in with Alan for like 11 months. Well when the hurricane came, and because our family has such good luck, the wind broke open the storage unit, and we lost everything...well we lost the stuff that the movers didnt steal while we were away on a cruise with my grandparents. Those fuckers took our tvs, dvd players, vcrs, my stereo. Ugh Fun huh? But we got new funiture and stuff so I guess its ok. And we have basically a totally new house, and it looks really good, especially the front because it was stuckoed and we have all new landscaping. Well anywayz...as a result of all this crap that went on, we are suing the insurance company. Im not even gonna get into all that stuff as to why, lets just say that the lawyers my dad is working with said that when this is all over with, the settlement will leave us with MILLIONS! Woot! So I cant wait until we go to court. So, that is the VERY short version of my life the past year. If you only knew all the crap that really went on...it would take me days to finish the entry!

Schools almost over, thank god! This semester has been so...annoying! The teachers are just jerks. I cant wait until summer. I think im taking 1 class, but im not sure yet.

I dont work at Party City anymore, I quit there a long time ago. I work at Forest Park Elementary now for the aftercare program. Its ok, because I like working with kids, but the kids at that school really get on my nerves. I would never work there when I become a teacher one day. Just to show how bad the school is, 20 teachers are quitting when the year is over because that school is so bad...nice huh?

Oh, and Alan and I are back together...yay! I love him so much. His birthday is Friday...were going to a BBQ at my uncles because my aunt is down from New Jersey, then we might go to the movies or something. I dunno. Whatever he wants to do! Speaking of Alan...he works with my dad now. They are gonna open a business together. My dads gonna teach Alan everything about the upholstry business, so thats cool. The thing I hate is having to wake up at 7 every morning ad bring him to my house, cuz we sleep at his house like everynight...and this lovely morning I couldnt go back to sleep...so I decided to write in here.

Well this is just a short little entry. Im gonna try and update more, but who knows.

Im going to sleep now...at least im gonna try. Until next time...

-taryn

holy crap!

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 07:11:58 GMT

Well hello livejournal! Its been like forever since ive updated this damn thing!! SOO much shit has gone on in my life the past year...I wouldnt even know where to begin. Everything is just totally different!

I dont have time to go into it all right now...just wanted to update for a change! But ill write again soon...maybe!

BYE!

...

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 15:59:21 GMT

...oh my!

if i could turn back time

Tue, 25 May 2004 06:35:35 GMT

I fucking love not being able to sleep...its so cool!

Im just sitting here thinking about things...blah. I feel so like disgusting, I cant explain it. I hate life sometimes, and how things turn out. I wish things were so different, but im realizing that they are never gonna be how I want it. Its been so long, and if things havent changed by now, then they probably never will...and theres nothing I cant do to change it.

Yea, well I havent updated in like forever, I used to write all the time. Oh well...lotsa stuff has been going on lately, but ill write a real update later on. I need to try and go to sleep, cuz i gotta get up at 7:30...woohoo!! Plus I gotta work tomorrow night. Wow, i love working. Hopefully I work with someone I like!

Well thats all for now. Goodnight!

heeellloooo

Thu, 29 Apr 2004 02:50:44 GMT

"post a memory of me in the comments, it can be anything you want
then post this to your journal and see what people remember of you."

Do it...thanx =)

its always better here...

Tue, 27 Apr 2004 21:23:34 GMT

Ahh im so tired! For the past two days, ive just been running around constantly! I need to just relax for a little bit!!

Yesterday was crazyness...I woke up when Britt called and we went to drop her car off to get fixed...then we hung out for awhile and had to go find my work clothes...wow that was so much fun! We went to every fucking store looking for kakhi pants...and no one has them! They all have capris only. I was getting so frustrated...we honestly went to like every store in the mall, Target, Marshalls, Walmart, Ross....blah. So yea then I came home, and then went back to the mall with Alan and bought some stuff, and then helped him hang up his posters. His room looks good now. But it was fun hanging with him yesterday =)

Today I had to take my astronomy exam...wow that was fun! Seeing as I lost my notebook, and had no notes to study. So I just had to study the homework. Oh well...hopefully I did OK on the exam, I need to get a good grade in that class! Then I went with Britt to pick her car up, then we just hung out at her house till she had to go to work. Then went to Taco Bell with Alan...and came home to clean my room....it wasnt dirty or anything! So now im just chillen here waiting for Alan to call when hes done doing whatever...

Well im done for now...until next time Byebye guys!

well...

Mon, 29 Mar 2004 05:23:12 GMT

Due to a situation this weekend...my journal is friends only now.

Im pretty sure I added all my friends that read it, but if I dont have u added, comment and ill add..maybe hehe j/k

So yea, thats all. Bye

can i get a what what

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 19:59:20 GMT

wow im so happy its friday!! I can sleep in tomorrow...woohoo!! =)

I went to go to school this morning, and I was walking out and my dads like where are u going? I was like wtf, where do u think im going?? Weirdo...

I dunno what im doing tonight yet...Alan wants to drink, and Bj wants to hang out..so ill prolly go over there and hang out with both of them. But i gotta tell my parents im sleeping somewhere else...not sure what im gonna say yet though..

Im very confused right now about something someone said...but yea...

Soo...i might go to my mommies house soon...lol I dont think ive said mommie since i was little.

Im in a really good mood right now, well i have been all day. yay for me =) Well im going now...later people

grrr

Thu, 25 Mar 2004 07:13:09 GMT

Yea fuck this....

Hes gonna say he hopes I die...thats fucking wrong, u dont fucking say that shit to someone, I dont care if ur mad or not. I didnt do shit to him, he sits there and says im being a dumb bitch, and he hates me and never wants to talk to me again blah blah, and I didnt even do anything to him. All I am is nice to the kid...and I get treated like shit in return, all the fucking time. He says he wants a friend, but he doesnt treat me like a friend, he treats me like im some piece of shit. If he doesnt want me to talk to him ever again, thats what hes gonna get.

I hope he feels bad when im gone...

Good fucking night.

sleepy time

Thu, 25 Mar 2004 06:19:51 GMT

Wow...tonight was soo much fun *sarcasm* We went to see Eternal Sunshine of a spotless mind..or whatever. I didnt really like it, it was weird. I didnt mind it that much though, everyone else hated it. Oh well...

So yea, not looking forward to this weekend at all. Nikki and Brittany leave tomorrow for California, and im stuck here without anyone to hang out with for 4 days...cool! I would hang out with Alan, but he told me last night that were still acting like were going out, so we should chill out a little, and not hang out as much, only once in awhile. So that was just more good news brought my way! weeee

I really, really want to drink this weekend. Its been way to long. I just wanna have one good night, and just get away. But if I did, I would be drinking by myself...and we all know how much fun that is! I miss when me and Alan used to drink, and he could sleep over. It used to be so much fun. I just miss being together in general...everything we used to go together, and just having someone there for me. Just like when we were happy and would just lay with each other and say how much we loved each other. Wow...i need to stop.

There was alot of sarcasm in this entry...

So I need to go to sleep...school awaits me tomorrow! yay! There goes the sarcasm again...goodnight.

.....

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 06:30:07 GMT

*sigh*

I thought I was doing good with everything, and thought everything was OK...but tonight it really hit me...

I miss him...yea I do. And were not gonna go out anytime soon...isnt that great.

Yea so, im not in a great mood. I think I just need to go to sleep. Goodnight.

dont wanna try no more

Tue, 23 Mar 2004 06:47:04 GMT

*yawn* im so tired!

I just got done studying for psychology...blah. I seriously hate school so much. I like dread going to my classes and just sitting there for over an hour listening to someone talk...I like freak out cuz im so bored! Wow.. cant wait till summer!

I hate how everyones on Spring Break when im in school...

I dont even really have anything to say. I dont know why I even updated!

So tomorrow night Nikki and Josh are coming over to watch a movie..and im pretty sure Alans coming too. So itll be cool, we havent done that in awhile. At the same time, its gonna be weird. =/

So yea, im in a really weird/sad mood right now. I wish I had someone to talk to. blah oh well I need to go to sleep now...i actually have to wake up for school tomorrow unlike everyone else! =( Goodnight

isnt it amazing?

Mon, 22 Mar 2004 06:07:43 GMT

Yea, I just got done writing my paper for english. I was almost done with it, when my computer fucks up and erases more then half of it. Fucking cool lemme tell u. So I had to try and remember what I wrote so I could rewrite it all over again....oh boy was that fun!

Well, today was ok I guess. I had to go to my sisters birthday party at the bowling alley. Wow, I remember when I used to have parties and all my little friends came lol Its so cute...Some of my family was there, like my grandparents and stuff. They came up to me and were like wheres ur other half? I was like umm..hes no longer my other half lol we broke up. They were like im sorry to hear that, u guys were cute together. blah blah lol So yea, I bowled for a little, then left cuz I was so freaking bored.

Tonight I went to the movies with Alan, Nikki, Josh and Brittany. We went to see Dawn of the Dead since we didnt get to see it the other night. It was Ok...not the greatest movie ever. Then i went back and hung out with Alan..it was nice =)

So yea, im in a weird mood right now. Kinda pissed off about a certain situation. I just dont understand people sometimes...oh well i dunno. I didnt do anything wrong, at least i didnt think, so im not gonna dwell on it.

Ugh...the past like week, every freaking night all these weirdos IM me wanting to talk. Im like what the fuck is wrong with people, leave me alone! This guy just imed me saying hes 28..i told him im 18 and hes like oh just how i like it, im a virgin and I want a young girl...omfg gross...im deleting my profile so no one else can IM me.

My hair smells so good! Speaking of hair, I cut Alans hair for him tonight. We buzzed the sides then I trimmed it. He looks cute! =)

Well yea, im pretty tired and I have fucking school tomorrow...wow cant wait! Alan should really call me back now so I can go to bed. So goodnight!

party time...excellent!

Sat, 20 Mar 2004 18:11:56 GMT

This morning consisted of lotsa much needed sleep! This is the first day in like 3 weeks, no lie, that ive slept in. I had to force myself to get up at like 12:30 lol Im glad I can sleep again like this!

Im watching Waynes World! yay

So last night was pretty fun..I guess. We went to City Place to see Dawn of the Dead, and when we went to get into the theater, Nikki and Alan forgot their ID's. So yea we couldnt see that. Instead we went to the Cheesecake Factory and ate dinner. Then after me and Alan came back to my house and watched a movie and I brought him home...and that was my fun night!

I need to get dressed soon...as much as I would love just to lay in bed all day in my pjs...lol I have these new ones ive never worn and their so comfy! =) I dunno what im gonna do today, i need to go to the store...maybe ill do that when I finally get up!

Tonight...babysitting yay! Nikki wants us to go to the karaoke place with her, but I dunno what time my parents are getting home and stuff. We'll see what happens though, maybe they will be home by 9 who knows. But if not, then im just chillen at home all night, Alan may come over, if he feels better.

Yea, well thats all for this lovely entry. Byebye!

baby cuz im a thug

Fri, 19 Mar 2004 18:40:39 GMT

Ive been in such a good mood today...maybe because its Friday...who knows?

So...last night, to me, was good. Things went ok, until later that night. I feel bad about the situation, but its over now. Hopefully the other person gets over it.

School was pointless today...in my English class we watched American Idol and talked about image and stuff. I guess its better then reading an essay right? Ugh, im glad its the weekend!

I dunno whats going on this weekend. Tonight everyones going to the movies I guess, so I may go with them. We'll see what happens though. I think tomorrow night im babysitting my sisters. So im probably just gonna rent some movies and chill all night...anyone wanna stay with poor me? lol

Well I gotta go to the store now, im supposed to go with Jackie...but I dunno anymore. So yea, byebye =)

let it burn

Thu, 18 Mar 2004 07:08:10 GMT

Wow, life really fucking sux sometimes...yea it does.

So I talked to Alan tonight about everything..finally he seriously talked to me. I just really dont know what to do anymore at all. One minute I think im getting over him, but the next minute I dont. And its just so confusing. He says hes trying so hard to get over me, but its just not working. But I dont want that at all, because that basically ruins our chances of ever getting back together if hes over me. I just wish he would stop being such a jerk to me all the time...but I guess thats just his way of getting over me and moving on. I just wish that we could be friends like we used to be, and just be nice to each other. I mean, he gets mad when I act like I still love him and want to be with him, but then he gets mad when I act like I dont care and im moving on. So what am I supposed to do? I wish he knew what he wanted to do, or how he felt about everything. I mean, if he still loves me and cant get over me, then why dont we try and go out again? I dunno what to do, im just hoping that he realizes that he still wants to be with me and wants to try again...a girl can only hope right? I guess im just gonna have to try and move on or something, he obviously doesnt want me back anytime soon, and wants to get over me. So im gonna have to try and do the same thing...as hard as thats gonna be.

Im totally in love with the new Usher song! Maybes its because its exactly what im going through with everything right now....

[Intro]
I don't understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn

[Verse 1]
It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart
It's been a long time coming
But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby
Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn

[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might ruin you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of him being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

[Verse 2]
Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same by myself
Callin' him your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feel
I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know he ain't comin back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back

Ooo ooo ooo ooooh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my booo
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-leven days, um-teen hours
Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)

[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might ruin you
Let it burn (let it burn, let it burn, you gon'learn)
Let it burn (gotta let it burn)
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know its best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

[Bridge]
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)

[Breakdown]
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh oooh
Ooh ooh oooh (can ya feel me burnin'?)
Ooh ooh ooh oooh ooh oooh

So many days, so many hours
I'm still burnin' till you return

Yea...i love that song. It makes me sad though lol But yea, I guess im jsut gonna have to let things go, and see what happens. I cant force anything and things are not gonna change right now. Things will heal sooner or later, I just hate going through this. I guess if me and him are meant to be together, we will get back together, and if not then....we wont. As simple as that. If he really wants to get over me,which I hope doesnt happen, then ill just leave him alone and let him move on with his life...and ill do the same. It would just suck to lose him completely after weve been together/friends for over 2 years. Blah...I really hope things get better within the next few weeks....

So...wow its late. Im not tired though. I need to take tylenol PM and go to sleep. I dunno what im doing tomorrow yet...well see what happens. Im going though...goodnight =/

hi

Sat, 13 Mar 2004 06:43:36 GMT

ahh i cant take it anymore...

I need to stop doing this to myself! Its driving me crazy...

So im back from Lakeland. I had fun, im probably going back up there in may sometime. I dunno..

Oh and im getting a new car. When I saw my grandma today she said shes gonna help my buy one, any car I want. Fucking awesome! We went looking tonight, I might get a mustang. I dunno, im still gonna look around a little bit. As soon as I pick one out, shes gonna come down here and give me the money and co-sign. I cant wait, im so excited to get rid of the car I have now....but it has so many memories! lol

So yea, its been just a great night. I did something that just made me feel bad, my friends are mad at me now because of this whole situation, and I just dont know what to do about anything anymore. I wish i didnt put myself into these situations, I wish I were different and acted upon things differently, then maybe things would work out differently. Why cant things just be easy instead of so complicated? Why cant my life just be better, and me be happy again?Im awaiting that day...

Well im tired...goodnight

dont ya love these things...

Thu, 11 Mar 2004 16:39:15 GMT

ANGER.
1. who did you last get angry with? a few people
2. what is your weapon of choice? no weapons...
3. what is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? umm probably the night of prom...wow i was gone
4. do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? i guess salty foods, I dunno
5. have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "LUNCH"? umm definetly not...

LUST.
1. how many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? umm i dunno...a couple
2. how many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? honestly dont know
3. have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? haha probably, i have trouble looking people in the eye when im talking to them
4. what is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? hmm eyes or maybe lips...
5. have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? not really
6. have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? yea
7. is love at first sight really lust? i guess it could be

GREED.
1. how many credit cards do you own? none
2. what's your guilty pleasure store? i dont really shop all that much
3. if you had $1 million, what would you do with it?definetly buy a new car, my mom a new car, my mom a house...then i dunno id go from there
4. would you rather be rich, or famous? both haha i dunno it would be nice to have some money...
5. would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? hmm depends i guess...but i think i probably would if i didnt go to crazy
6. have you ever stolen anything? sure have
7. how many MP3s are on your hard drive? none

PRIDE.
1. what one thing have you done that you're most proud of? heh i dunno
2. what one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? i guess doing good in school and going to college
3. what thing would you like to accomplish in your life? graduate college...ugh
4. do you get annoyed by coming in second place? haha yea sometimes, who doesnt honestly
5. have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? not that i can remember
6. have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? yea
7. what did you do today that you're proud of? heh umm i dont wanna answer

ENVY.
1. what item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? a person i want for my own is.....****
2. who would you want to go on "trading spaces" with? anyone...i would love someone to redo my freaking room
3. if you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? someone pretty...
4. have you ever been cheated on? probably =/
5. have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? everyday
6. finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? i dunno

nidlfuhgildsfb

Thu, 11 Mar 2004 16:24:01 GMT

Nice title...huh?

So yea, Spring Breaks basically over. Ive been in Lakeland the whole time. It was actually alot of fun. Sometimes it was boring when I was here by myself, but at night when everyones here its so much fun =) Im leaving tomorrow morning...to go back to all the stress in my life. I want to go back, but at the same time I dont want to. Oh well...

Speaking of stress, this week has still been stressful even though im not at home. I thought maybe coming up here would help everything, but oh no it didnt. Things are just so frustrating and confusing still...people still being mad, people lieing about things...but I think that ive made my mind up about everything and what I should do. I think it will be better off that way anywayz...lol im not saying anything about what im thinking so this wont make sense. But yea, I guess ill just have to see what happens as the days go by. Im just so sick of the stress ive been going through and the hurt and just everything..i really cant handle it anymore.

So...I got my hair cut today, it has some layers. I like it alot, maybe ill actually wear it down now!

I dunno what im doing this weekend. Things keep going back and forth. I probably wont wind up hanging with Alan, since he cant make up his mind about anything at all, but i really wanna see him Oh well...well see what happens. But yea, I gotta do wash and stuff still so I can pack. Im probably gonna leave early tomorrow, cuz i gotta go visit my grandparents in Vero Beach. blah...So thats all for now. <3 Taryn

damn

Fri, 05 Mar 2004 06:26:32 GMT

Life just fucking sux right now...and its going to for awhile!

It seems like nothing will make me happy right now, besides being with Alan, and he just refuses to give us another chance, and doesnt know if he will ever be ready. I just give up I guess...I just really dont want to hurt anymore. Its been 2 fucking weeks, and im still just waiting around for him, and hes telling me we may never get back together, but he doesnt know. WTF? I mean its absolutely killing me. Ive never loved anyone like I love him. And he says he loves me still, and he misses me. Then why the fuck wont he give us another chance? I just dont understand, and I never will. Im not going to move on, even if he says we will never be together, I dont think id be in a relationship for a very long time....it fucking sux feeling like I did when we broke up, I never want to feel like that again.

God im so fucking sad about everything. I miss being with him, him holding me, kissing him...ugh everything...I just want him back...is that to much to ask?

Well im going to bed now, im finally sleeping. So goodbye for now.

yea

Tue, 02 Mar 2004 05:48:20 GMT

Well, todays been alot better. I dunno why, it just has.

Im realizing alot of things, which is good.

Me and Alan are not back together, not surprising! I still love him alot, and I guess he still loves me. Who knows...I just know he doesnt want to be with me anytime soon, and doesnt know if we will ever go out again. I guess Ill just have to deal with it, theres nothing I can do to change his mind, even though I wish there was. I mean, I know we fought alot and all, but this time apart has made me realize a lot, and I know if he gave us another chance, things would be alot better. I wish he would realize we had somehting good together, and he should at least give it another chance. Oh well, I can only hope we go out sometime soon, cuz honestly I miss him. blah

So...im tired as hell. Im hoping to get a goodnights sleep tonight. So byebye

~*~mY liFe~*~